Obituaries

Martin Roth
B: 1929-03-16
D: 2017-08-14
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Roth, Martin
Anene Gieschen
B: 1967-07-21
D: 2017-08-04
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Gieschen, Anene
Arnold Van Handel
B: 1926-08-10
D: 2017-08-01
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Van Handel, Arnold
Stephen Andrejeski
B: 1921-04-18
D: 2017-08-01
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Andrejeski, Stephen
Michael Cottrell
B: 1949-07-12
D: 2017-07-30
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Cottrell, Michael
Juan Munoz
B: 1924-05-06
D: 2017-07-29
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Munoz, Juan
Willard Lamm
B: 1926-10-22
D: 2017-07-28
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Lamm, Willard
John Eppel
B: 1956-04-30
D: 2017-07-27
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Eppel, John
Debra Beckford
B: 1958-12-30
D: 2017-07-26
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Beckford, Debra
Louis Mertens
B: 1965-08-23
D: 2017-07-23
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Mertens, Louis
Wayne Domkowski
B: 1947-12-04
D: 2017-07-21
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Domkowski, Wayne
Joseph Hopfensperger
B: 1927-09-02
D: 2017-07-12
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Hopfensperger, Joseph
Anne Glasner
B: 1930-01-09
D: 2017-07-07
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Glasner, Anne
Teresa Vargas-Jaramillo
B: 1947-11-27
D: 2017-07-05
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Vargas-Jaramillo, Teresa
Irene Haynes
B: 1914-04-28
D: 2017-06-27
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Haynes, Irene
Ada Rivera-Gonzalez
B: 1925-05-10
D: 2017-06-24
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Rivera-Gonzalez, Ada
Mary Bodoh
B: 1929-11-21
D: 2017-06-22
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Bodoh, Mary
Thomas Poss
B: 1936-12-11
D: 2017-06-09
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Poss, Thomas
Leighton Larson
B: 1925-10-23
D: 2017-06-06
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Larson, Leighton
Amari Gibson
B: 2017-03-16
D: 2017-06-06
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Gibson, Amari
Bernice Nack
B: 1924-05-14
D: 2017-05-26
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Nack, Bernice

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606 North Oneida St.
Appleton, WI 54911
Phone: (920) 733-7383
Fax: (920) 733-3977

Social Expectations: a Primer on Funeral Etiquette

Most of us are uncertain about what to do at a funeral. We see it all the time. In fact, I think Funeral Directors are the only people who are truly comfortable in this social setting. After all, we’ve had a lot of practice.

We’ve put together this section on funeral etiquette to share everything you need to know to help you do the right thing before, during and after the service.


What to Do


Sign the Register

When you sign the register at the funeral home, be sure to list your name and your relationship to the deceased. The register is something the family will have forever, and they will appreciate knowing who you are and how you knew their loved one in years to come.

Viewing

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. 

Offer Words of Condolence

Offering comforting words to the family is usually the easiest thing you can do. It's also something the family will appreciate and remember. If you attend the visitation or service, offer your condolences with a handshake, an embrace, a simple statement of condolence such as “I’m sorry.”, “My sympathy to you.”, “John was a fine person and a friend of mine. He will be missed.” or share a story or special memory about the deceased.

. If you can't be there, send a card or share your message using the Book of Memories online memorial tribute page. In most circumstances, it is not appropriate to inquires as to the cause of death.  If you were only acquainted with the deceased (and not the family), be sure to introduce yourself.


Send a Gift to the Family

Appropriate gifts include flowers, a donation to a charity (oftentimes the family will have a preferred charity), food or a service. You can send your gift to the family's home or the funeral home. Please ensure you include a signed card with your gift so the family knows who sent it. However, please take a few minutes to recognize that certain faiths have proscriptions about what should be sent to the bereaved. If you’re unclear, check with a close family relative or friend.

Stay in Touch with the Family

Depending on your relationship with the family, you may choose to stay in touch in person, by telephone or online. The grieving process can be long and difficult, so don’t just walk out of their lives after the funeral service. You will serve the family well by letting them know you're there for them during the days, weeks, and months follow the death of their loved one.
 

What to Wear

Historically, people wore black or only somber colors to a funeral. Today it's acceptable to dress in a wider range of colors and clothing styles. In fact, we’ve seen services where the family asked everyone to dress in pink, or in colorful Hawaiian shirts and shorts, but, these unique events.  People attending a funeral should be dressed in good taste to show dignity and respect for the family and the deceased.

Have other questions about funeral etiquette? Contact us. We’ve got the answers you’re looking for – after all, we’ve been to hundreds of funerals. So call – we’d love to help you get through what can (but doesn’t have to) be a challenging social situation.

 

Children at Funerals

At a very early age, children have an awareness of and response to death. Children should be given the option to attend the visitation and funeral service. The funeral director can advise you on how to assist children.  For more information on Children and Grief, click here.